Last weekend I traveled back to my hometown for my sister’s birthday. As I’ve mentioned in past posts, it’s always hard for me to be away from home and away from my safe place. By safe place I mostly mean Caleb, Rudy and Kessler but also my routine.

This part of my introverted personality is misunderstood by the extrovert I have always considered myself to be. A contradiction within my being that hates being away from home or being around anyone except close friends and family yet craves adventure, new experiences and unfamiliar faces.

I try to balance these personality traits so that I’m not completely drained one way or the other but recent conversations I’ve had with people have me questioning am I becoming too introverted? Am I staying home too much? Am I fucking weird for being a stay at home mom?

The conversations were in passing and surface level, so I have no idea why I have continued to ruminate on them.

“That’s weird” was the reply I got when I said that I don’t like being away from Kessler. “I’m sorry” was the reply I got when I told someone I’m a stay at home mom. (Okay I kind of get the I’m sorry 🤣)

Comments like these are few and far between but when they come I’m fucked up about them. I immediately spiral into the belief that I’m some kind of freak who doesn’t know how to exist in society properly. Actually now that I’m typing this, I’ve never been able to squeeze myself into a societal box that well.

I occasionally complain about being a wife but the fact is that Caleb is my person and one of the only people I can completely relax around.

I occasionally complain about how fucking hard being a mom is but the fact is that this is the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted in life and is the most important thing to me.

They are my safe place. And I’m not weird.

Xoxo

Taylor