You don’t have to like each other but you still have to love each other

July 8, 2016justanothertaylor Leave a comment

This is what my mom used to say to my sister and I when we were arguing about the name to give our new beanie baby, what movie to watch next, or whose turn it was to play computer pinball– you name it, we probably didn’t agree.

It’s just a 15 word line, and I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times if you have siblings– but really let the words sink in. They hold so much meaning we can learn from.

The events going on in the United States regardless of race, sex, occupation, financial standing, etc., are not okay.

Killing each other should not be a option.

Just as Milan and I did not always like each other when we were little, adults don’t always see eye-to-eye or like each other at all. That doesn’t mean we should hate one another over controversial matters, whatever they may be.

You don’t have to like everyone. 50% (maybe more depending on the day) of humans I interact with get on my nerves. Still doesn’t mean I want to pick up a gun and kill them. So I repeat: You do not have to like everyone. But you can still respect them, which is the most important form of love we need right now.

Killing will not stop until the hate in our broken souls is RESOLVED.

Start resolving in other forms than by blaming and pointing fingers. Start resolving by doing more than posting your opinion on social media.

Start resolving by being kind to one another. And remember, we will always have to share the earth we live on regardless if we get along or not. Wouldn’t it be better if we did?

Why having a best friend is the greatest

January 12, 2016justanothertaylor Leave a comment

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A lot has changed in the 6 years between these pictures of me and my best friend, Haleigh:

I finally learned how to spell her name correctly, decided that blonde skunk streak in my hair was a bad idea, and figured out that buying clothes from the buckle isn’t what makes you a cool person.

We turned 18 and went off to college, turned 21 and started going to the bars (legally), and turned 22 which means we are now –unfortunately–trying this adult thing.

We’ve experienced heartbreak, lost friendships, and lots and lots of drunken nights together.

We have worked hard at our friendship–There has been awkward moments, but somehow it has always, always works itself out. And that is the greatest feeling in the world.

I know that pretty much any mistake I make in my life, she will be there for me. And she knows I’d do the same for her.

We moved in together in August and living with her has been awesome. I know I will look back 10 years from now wishing we could go back to these times.

Last night we sat on the couches talking (as we usually do) and then both fell asleep watching OITNB. I was on the short couch so I woke up quickly after and went to my bed. When I laid down in bed, I felt overwhelmingly happy.

How did I get so lucky? I know a lot of girls who don’t have a close relationship like this in their life. I joke around and say that Hay is my second boyfriend but… it’t not a joke. She really is. I ask her opinion on most things going on in my life, and I always will.

I am even more lucky that Haleigh isn’t my only best friend. I have multiple true friendships that I cherish now more than ever.

Put the effort in to keep these type of friends. They are worth it!

“Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it.”

10 Qualities of Healthy Relationships

October 2, 2015justanothertaylor 2 Comments

Looks like my Master’s Degree is paying off already! One of my millions of assignments for Theories of Human Communication this week was to read the chapter over “Relationships” and teach it to the class.

Ironic because I am probably the last person on Earth that should be teaching others about relationships.

Anyway, as I was reading I came across a list that Carl Rodgers (a 20th century psychologist) theoretically constructed about what a healthy relationship possesses:

Communicators are perceived by one another as trustworthy, or consistently dependable.
They express themselves unambiguously (AKA clearly)
They possess positive attitudes of warmth and caring for the other.
A partner in a relationship keeps a separate identity.
A partner permits the other to do the same.
The partner accepts the various facets of the others’ experience as communicated by the other person. (AKA they aren’t disapproving of the others past)
The relationship is marked by empathy, in which each attempts to understand the feelings of the other.
The partners respond with sufficient sensitivity to create a safe environment for personal change.
Communicators are able to free themselves from the threat of evaluation from the other. (AKA they feel free to say anything without being judged)
Each communicator recognizes that the other is changing and is flexible enough to permit the other to change.

The relationships that I view as “healthy” in my life have EVERY single one of these qualities. I think about my best friend and how much both of us have experienced and changed over the years. We are so different from each other and instead of growing apart, we have embraced these qualities and have created a friendship that will literally last forever.

If you are in a relationship, whether it be a family member, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, etc. and none of these qualities are present– get out of it! Everyone deserves healthy, happy relationships because in the end– that’s all that we have!

A young person’s view on being a mom

February 6, 2015justanothertaylor 4 Comments

I am not a mom yet, but someday I want to be and there are lots of reasons why. My mom is single handedly the best person on this earth (next to my dad and Ellen Degeneres) and I want my kids to see me –as a see her– someday. DSC_0656 copy She is such a good grandma, too. I don’t know how hard being a mother is. Probably extremely hard. You never get any sleep, you have someone, other than yourself, to worry about 24/7 and patience is NOT my strong suit. My sister, whom is very much like me– only a lot better in that she is kind, thoughtful, and extremely caring for others– is also a mom to two perfect little babies who I call my niece and nephew. (Adorable, amirite?) Even though Kylie juggles work, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of Brogan and Gatlin, she still finds time to be an amazing sister and friend– all qualities I want to possess when I become a mom. —–P.S. She had no clue this was stuck to her foot the other day when I was with her:

1. It is a sparkle sticker that probably got stuck there while she was cleaning one of the thousands of messes she has to clean up each day.

2. We have never laughed so hard in our lives because it took her 5 minutes to notice it even after we told her. Kylie: “What?.. what are you talking about? My toenails?” Me: “No.” *laughing hysterically* Kylie: “What?!?! This blister I have” Me: “NO!!! No, look!” *Laughing so hard I’m crying* She eventually noticed… LOLLLLL.

3. This is another reason I know being a mom is stressful. So busy you don’t even realize a pink and purple dragon-fly has been stuck to your foot for the last 12 hours… (And it probably would have stayed there for much longer if we didn’t notice it for her.)

A lesson that I’ve learned from both my mom and sister is that being overwhelmed, being broke, and being worried– is totally worth it. Getting to be a mom is something I see so many girls take for granted, which is something I hope I never do. I am not anywhere near ready to be a mom. Waiting until I can fully support a child mentally, emotionally, and financially is extremely important and remembering that there is no reason to rush the process is something I have to remind myself of, so that I don’t get myself into a situation I can’t handle. My friend Haleigh, who is wise beyond her years, always makes a valid point when the topic of parenting comes up. “No one ever stops to think about how their decisions are going to affect the kid, they just think about themselves.” Having children is such a blessing and I have some of the most amazing teachers to learn from, once I am ready. I know what it feels like to have a mom that loves me deeply, provides for me, and is there for me anytime I need her. This is exactly the type of mom I want to be someday, and the type I think every mother should strive to be.

Maintaing Long-Distance Friendships

January 24, 2015justanothertaylor 1 Comment

Moving away from the people you love is hard. Moving away from your best friends is even harder. Letting high school relationships slip through your fingers is so easy after graduating and going your separate ways. I do not like losing friends, but sometimes you have to pick your battles and realize that some friendships just aren’t worth your effort. There are plenty of friendships that are worthy of effort, though. The people who still ask you to do things although they are busier than a bee, the ones that text you as much as you text them, and the ones who truly care about how your life is chugging along– those are the ones you want to read this post for. I am so lucky to have four amazing best friends who have been willing to put in as much effort to stay a part of my life, as I have put in to stay in theirs. There are many reasons as to why we have been able to remain so close to one another, and here they are:

1. No matter how many days pass without talking to one another, we will always know that we share a special bond.

These days everyone is so busy; Haydn has two kids to take care of, Alyssa is part of a D1 cheer squad, Erin attends KU and has accumulated enough new friends there to fill a convention center, and Haleigh is a studyholic/workaholic/rave kitten (lol) We UNDERSTAND that about each other. We aren’t going to flip a lid if one of us forgets to text back or can’t make a birthday party- it’s just life.

2. We still make time to see each other.

It is rare and magical when I get to spend time with each one of them. I think the last time I saw Haydn we were giving her kids a bath for the day. It doesn’t matter to us that she has two children and that I can’t even take care of a pet fish. We both still want someone to share our lives with. It honestly doesn’t matter what any of us do when we are together because we can still make the little time we have together count.

(P.S. Aren’t they adorable?)

3. We don’t get upset over petty things.

Oops, just dropped a huge spot of something mysterious from that loaded BBQ fry stand onto Haleigh’s white dress that she let me borrow.

It happened shortly after this photo was taken– I was completely sober as you can see. Luckily the stain came out- but even if it didn’t, she wouldn’t be mad at me. And she would still let me borrow her clothes. (thank god, she has an amazing wardrobe.)

4. We are there for each other when times get rough, even through the distance.

There has been countless times where I have been down in the dumps so I text one of them, and they reply with an amazing response that instantly changes my perspective on the matter. Just yesterday I was asking Alyssa’s opinion over something I was really unsure about and she replied with “Maybe it’s meant to happen. Maybe you’ll find yourself this way. Just let it play out and enjoy it!!!” Okay, bitch. Thanks for about the most perfect reply ever. Situation averted. I can always count on them to make me feel better. There has also been countless times that they’ve texted me when they were having bad days. Be there for your friends, tell them that they rock your socks off, support them, and tell them that everything is going to be alright– because ultimately that’s all they need to hear.

Maintaining true friendships isn’t easy to do as we get older since there are so many distractions in our own lives. Friendship is a quality that, I believe, you cannot live a truly happy life without. Take time to make those around you feel special– it will make the biggest difference in your day. I love you girls!