9 reasons I don’t want a boyfriend; and why you should get over it.

Have you ever met an amazing person, found out they were single, and automatically thought “something must be wrong with them”. Don’t act like you’ve never done it. I know I have.

But isn’t it time to get over that stigma?  In the past 7 months with no boyfriend, I have had countless fun-filled weekends with my best friends, focused on my hobbies, and spent time reflecting on myself. And in those past few months I have come to a realization; I don’t want a boyfriend. At least not for now. And here is why:

  1. I can do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want. With no one to answer to and no one to argue with. Do you know how nice that is?
  2. I get to spend time with my wide (and spectacular) circle of friends more often.
  3. I’ve been to Vegas twice in the last few months and I am leaving for Mexico next week. Places that I probably wouldn’t have gone if I was in a relationship. Basically, I still get to be selfish for a little bit longer. And at 22 I think that’s completely fair. (P.S. For me to want to stop being selfish with my time, it’s going to take a lot more than a Facebook/text message.)
  4. I’m not putting off my goals anymore. Improving in photography is something important to me, so I am taking a portrait photography class in my free time and it is paying off.
  5. I spent all the recent holidays with MY family.
  6. I haven’t found anyone worth getting off the market for. Yes, there is no such thing as perfection, but there is also nothing wrong with being picky. (*Disclaimer* the line “it’s not you it’s me” IS a real thing, believe me, I’ve gone on dates with awesome guys. Doesn’t mean I want to date ’em.)
  7. I am learning new things about myself. Haleigh took me to a EDM concert for the first time last weekend. Guess what? I loved it. Didn’t even know I’d been missing out on that culture for so long. I like being open to new experiences with nothing holding me back.
  8. I am taking care of my body. Working out and eating healthy are two of my other main goals right now.
  9. My happiness isn’t constantly revolving around another person.  This is a big one for me because in the past I’ve let my boyfriends control my happiness. They could easily steal it away anytime things went south. I feel like this has been my biggest area of growth because I can make my own happiness, and eventually another person will just ADD to that joy.

I feel lucky that I have this time to myself. I know I’ll be a better person when the right guy does come along.

IMG_8367

Advertisements

An Open Letter to the Boy Who Took The Easy Way Out

You broke my heart.

But that’s not what I’m still upset about; Time heals all.

You left me wondering everyday what I did wrong.

But you were so selfish that you wouldn’t give me any explanation.

You thought immediately erasing me from your life would rid you of any heart ache.

And you didn’t care at all about how that would affect me.

During our relationship you said “I love you” too many times to count.

But your actions after it ended did not support that.

You thought deleting me from your life was the only option, but it wasn’t.

I was close with your family. I was close with your friends. And they were close with me, too.

The way you treated me shouldn’t even have been an option.

So now it is clear to me that you are the one with the problem.

You, with the demons you don’t know how to deal with.

You, who doesn’t deserve someone with as open of a heart as mine.

So what I’m still upset about– is that I didn’t think I’d ever have to date someone like you.

The type of person who is so scared of dealing with their emotions that they take the easy way out.

IMG_8367

 

 

Being called “crazy”

Way too often I hear guys sitting around labeling girls that they have dated as “crazy”.  And by crazy, they mean a girl who has texted or called them multiple times in a row, cried or yelled at them about something, or just given them too much attention in general.

A lot of people think being called crazy is negative.  Girls start to feel they are undateable or that they have undesired personality traits.

Well, I am here to tell you that I love being called crazy.

If you have ever been called this, I am SO SORRY you have only dated close-minded, uninterested people that don’t get your personality.

First, being called crazy means that you ACTUALLY care, love, or believe in something or someone in this way-too-often sugarcoated world. Its not that you are crazy at all, it IS this thing called being passionate. Ever heard of it?

Second, being called crazy means that you aren’t afraid to stand up for your own feelings– even if another person can’t comprehend those feelings.

Those who label you in any way are most likely insecure about themselves. They feel the need to place blame somewhere.

So once again, yes. I love being called crazy. I am passionate about everything in my life and I feel sorry for those who can’t express how they are feeling. My high’s are high and my low’s are low. I have so much to give and so much to lose.

Wait for the person who can handle your crazy and don’t change the way you are for someone who can’t.

IMG_8367

 

10 Qualities of Healthy Relationships

Looks like my Master’s Degree is paying off already! One of my millions of assignments for Theories of Human Communication this week was to read the chapter over “Relationships” and teach it to the class.

Ironic because I am probably the last person on Earth that should be teaching others about relationships.

Anyway, as I was reading I came across a list that Carl Rodgers (a 20th century psychologist) theoretically constructed about what a healthy relationship possesses:

  1. Communicators are perceived by one another as trustworthy, or consistently dependable.
  2. They express themselves unambiguously (AKA clearly)
  3. They possess positive attitudes of warmth and caring for the other.
  4. A partner in a relationship keeps a separate identity.
  5. A partner permits the other to do the same.
  6. The partner accepts the various facets of the others’ experience as communicated by the other person. (AKA they aren’t disapproving of the others past)
  7. The relationship is marked by empathy, in which each attempts to understand the feelings of the other.
  8. The partners respond with sufficient sensitivity to create a safe environment for personal change.
  9. Communicators are able to free themselves from the threat of evaluation from the other. (AKA they feel free to say anything without being judged)
  10. Each communicator recognizes that the other is changing and is flexible enough to permit the other to change.

The relationships that I view as “healthy” in my life have EVERY single one of these qualities. I think about my best friend and how much both of us have experienced and changed over the years. We are so different from each other and instead of growing apart, we have embraced these qualities and have created a friendship that will literally last forever.

If you are in a relationship, whether it be a family member, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, etc. and none of these qualities are present– get out of it! Everyone deserves healthy, happy relationships because in the end– that’s all that we have!

IMG_8367

A young person’s view on being a mom

I am not a mom yet, but someday I want to be and there are lots of reasons why. My mom is single handedly the best person on this earth (next to my dad and Ellen Degeneres) and I want my kids to see me –as a see her– someday. DSC_0656 copyShe is such a good grandma, too. I don’t know how hard being a mother is. Probably extremely hard. You never get any sleep, you have someone, other than yourself, to worry about 24/7 and patience is NOT my strong suit. My sister, whom is very much like me– only a lot better in that she is kind, thoughtful, and extremely caring for others– is also a mom to two perfect little babies who I call my niece and nephew. photo(Adorable, amirite?) Even though Kylie juggles work, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of Brogan and Gatlin, she still finds time to be an amazing sister and friend– all qualities I want to possess when I become a mom. —–P.S. She had no clue this was stuck to her foot the other day when I was with her:

sitcker

 1. It is a sparkle sticker that probably got stuck there while she was cleaning one of the thousands of messes she has to clean up each day.

2. We have never laughed so hard in our lives because it took her 5 minutes to notice it even after we told her. Kylie: “What?.. what are you talking about? My toenails?” Me: “No.” *laughing hysterically* Kylie: “What?!?! This blister I have” Me: “NO!!! No, look!” *Laughing so hard I’m crying* She eventually noticed… LOLLLLL.

3. This is another reason I know being a mom is stressful. So busy you don’t even realize a pink and purple dragon-fly has been stuck to your foot for the last 12 hours… (And it probably would have stayed there for much longer if we didn’t notice it for her.)

A lesson that I’ve learned from both my mom and sister is that being overwhelmed, being broke, and being worried– is totally worth it. Getting to be a mom is something I see so many girls take for granted, which is something I hope I never do. I am not anywhere near ready to be a mom. Waiting until I can fully support a child mentally, emotionally, and financially is extremely important and remembering that there is no reason to rush the process is something I have to remind myself of, so that I don’t get myself into a situation I can’t handle. My friend Haleigh, who is wise beyond her years, always makes a valid point when the topic of parenting comes up. “No one ever stops to think about how their decisions are going to affect the kid, they just think about themselves.” Having children is such a blessing and I have some of the most amazing teachers to learn from, once I am ready. I know what it feels like to have a mom that loves me deeply, provides for me, and is there for me anytime I need her. This is exactly the type of mom I want to be someday, and the type I think every mother should strive to be. Signaiture

Simple & Thoughtful Valentine’s Day Ideas

Men- When your significant other says she doesn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, she is LYING. She is a big big fat liar and you shouldn’t listen to her. Don’t have a lot of money to spend? Me either. There are lots of free options on this list.

1. Print out your favorite picture of you two and write at least 5 things you love about them on the back. (this one cost 27 cents and she will love it)

2. Buy her flowers. Who cares where they come from, she won’t be able to tell the difference.

3. Pay attention to things she says she wants throughout the week. Girls want stuff 24/7. Don’t ask her, just listen when she is talking. Things that I’ve mentioned I want to family and friends in the last 24 hours: running shoes, car charger, cinnabon cinnamon roll… You get the point.

4. Make her breakfast & dinner. (If you already to this- make something heart shaped)

5. Give her more kisses than usual.

6.  Make a coupon book filled with things like: good for 1 back-rub, designated driver for the night, 1 romantic movie night, and whatever else she likes. (THIS IS MY FAVORITE- and its free!) Then whenever she wants, she can use the coupon. Women, this is a perfect one to give to men too!!

7. You can never go wrong with a Mani/Pedi gift certificate.

8. You can also never go wrong with a love playlist made just for her.

9. Starbucks waiting for her when she wakes up.

10. Stalk her Pinterest. Either buy or attempt to make her something that she has recently pinned. (If it turns out bad its the thought that counts)

Women- Some men really probably don’t care if you get them anything or not, but I always feel weird receiving and not giving. Plus it’s so fun to give gifts! So here are some ideas for you, too. (This list was actually a lot harder to make than I thought it would be)

1. Money clip. Amazon has cool ones for cheap, they also have two day shipping- so it will get here in time.

2. Purchase his fishing license for the year.

3. Make him a “man bouquet”

eb25a06be3d2fe6747c06cd3cc9960f4(ideally it should look something like this)

photo(mine turned out like this and he was still pleased)

4. Six-pack of his favorite beer.

5. You in lingerie.

6. Write him a list of reasons why he is your best friend on a paper that will line a mason jar, then fill the middle with his favorite candy.

7.  Make him a heart shaped hamburger. (I also think this is an amazing idea for women too, men)

8. The coupon book idea.

9. If you have kids- have them make Valentine’s themed drawings. Hang them all over the fridge before he wakes up.

10. Personalize something for him. A golf ball, keychain, pillow, beer glass, pocket knife, shot glass, coffee mug. The list is endless. Etsy is your best friend for this!! I guarantee anything you could ever want to give is on there with a personalization option.

The most important gift you can give your love this Valentines day, whether you have been together for years, or just two weeks– is to let them know you special they are, and how much they mean to you. Express your feelings towards one another and show your romantic side– that’s what Valentine’s Day is for!

Signaiture

Maintaing Long-Distance Friendships

Moving away from the people you love is hard. Moving away from your best friends is even harder. Letting high school relationships slip through your fingers is so easy after graduating and going your separate ways. I do not like losing friends, but sometimes you have to pick your battles and realize that some friendships just aren’t worth your effort. There are plenty of friendships that are worthy of effort, though. The people who still ask you to do things although they are busier than a bee, the ones that text you as much as you text them, and the ones who truly care about how your life is chugging along– those are the ones you want to read this post for. I am so lucky to have four amazing best friends who have been willing to put in as much effort to stay a part of my life, as I have put in to stay in theirs. There are many reasons as to why we have been able to remain so close to one another, and here they are:

1. No matter how many days pass without talking to one another, we will always know that we share a special bond.

These days everyone is so busy; Haydn has two kids to take care of, Alyssa is part of a D1 cheer squad, Erin attends KU and has accumulated enough new friends there to fill a convention center, and Haleigh is a studyholic/workaholic/rave kitten (lol) We UNDERSTAND that about each other. We aren’t going to flip a lid if one of us forgets to text back or can’t make a birthday party- it’s just life.

2. We still make time to see each other.

It is rare and magical when I get to spend time with each one of them. I think the last time I saw Haydn we were giving her kids a bath for the day. It doesn’t matter to us that she has two children and that I can’t even take care of a pet fish. We both still want someone to share our lives with. It honestly doesn’t matter what any of us do when we are together because we can still make the little time we have together count.

blogbff10(P.S. Aren’t they adorable?)

3. We don’t get upset over petty things.

Oops, just dropped a huge spot of something mysterious from that loaded BBQ fry stand onto Haleigh’s white dress that she let me borrow.

blogbff11

It happened shortly after this photo was taken– I was completely sober as you can see. Luckily the stain came out- but even if it didn’t, she wouldn’t be mad at me. And she would still let me borrow her clothes. (thank god, she has an amazing wardrobe.)

4. We are there for each other when times get rough, even through the distance.

There has been countless times where I have been down in the dumps so I text one of them, and they reply with an amazing response that instantly changes my perspective on the matter.  Just yesterday I was asking Alyssa’s opinion over something I was really unsure about and she replied with “Maybe it’s meant to happen. Maybe you’ll find yourself this way. Just let it play out and enjoy it!!!” Okay, bitch. Thanks for about the most perfect reply ever. Situation averted. I can always count on them to make me feel better. There has also been countless times that they’ve texted me when they were having bad days. Be there for your friends, tell them that they rock your socks off, support them, and tell them that everything is going to be alright– because ultimately that’s all they need to hear.

Maintaining true friendships isn’t easy to do as we get older since there are so many distractions in our own lives. Friendship is a quality that, I believe, you cannot live a truly happy life without. Take time to make those around you feel special– it will make the biggest difference in your day. I love you girls!

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard

Haydn and I–

blogbff9 blogbff0

2006 (hoodrats)                                 2014

blogbff2bff12

2007(more hoodrats)                              2015

Alyssa–

blogbff7blog100

2012 (Alyssa’s eyebrow piercing phase)             2015

Erin–

bff1blog200

2007 (that necklace & that phone, OMG!)              2015

bff2

2011 (Wow, cute smile right?)

blogbff4

2012

bff3

2013

blogbff6

2014

blagbff5

2015