My Thoughts

Loving yourself and reflecting it into others (A lesson from my portrait photography teacher.)

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Today in my photography class the instructor gave us a presentation over the psychology behind portrait photography, and it really hit home with me.

Starting off, he showed a picture of David Beckham (Sexiest Man of 2015) and some really skinny brunette (Sexiest Woman of 2015) and told us that this is not the type of people we were going to be photographing in our lives (unless of course we work hard and become celebrity photographers.) But rather that we would be photographing “everyone else.”

This is true! Not much of the population has a team of experts to do their hair and make-up before every photo taken of them, but that doesn’t mean that “everyone else” doesn’t want to feel just as beautiful and confident in their portraits.

He went over techniques and suggestions such as getting to know your subject before hand, making small talk at the beginning of the session so that they are comfortable with you, giving specific posing directions, etc.

But the part of this presentation that evoked my attention the most was when he talked about us as photographers loving ourselves. What I took from his lesson is that we all have flaws, but it is our CHOICE whether or not to accept/love them. It is unrealistic to think that we are going to look like movie stars and the sooner that we learn that, the sooner we will take better photos.

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Looking at this portrait of me, I immediately pick out characteristics I don’t like. Big nose. I  obviously haven’t learned to accept and love every part of my features and our instructor pointed out that this lacking of acceptance will reflect in the portraits that we take of others.

For example, If I am not comfortable with my imperfections, I will notice the same imperfections in others. Even if it is subconscious, I’ll want to “fix” these on the person I am taking photos of. When he said that, I could think of a couple of times that I had done just that.

But what if your client loves and accepts their imperfections? Who am I to make that call? After all, this is part of a persons character and also what makes them unique!

Basically, what I took from this lecture was– don’t project your own insecurities onto other people through your photography.

The same thing can be said for other aspects of our lives. I not only want be comfortable in my own skin, but also love what is on the inside of me so that I can extend that love to those around me.

Moral of this blog post– build other people up, but more importantly build yourself up so that you can.

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Why having a best friend is the greatest

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A lot has changed in the 6 years between these pictures of me and my best friend, Haleigh:

I finally learned how to spell her name correctly, decided that blonde skunk streak in my hair was a bad idea, and figured out that buying clothes from the buckle isn’t what makes you a cool person.

We turned 18 and went off to college, turned 21 and started going to the bars (legally), and turned 22 which means we are now –unfortunately–trying this adult thing.

We’ve experienced heartbreak, lost friendships, and lots and lots of drunken nights together.

We have worked hard at our friendship–There has been awkward moments, but somehow it has always, always works itself out. And that is the greatest feeling in the world.

I know that pretty much any mistake I make in my life, she will be there for me. And she knows I’d do the same for her.

We moved in together in August and living with her has been awesome. I know I will look back 10 years from now wishing we could go back to these times.

Last night we sat on the couches talking (as we usually do) and then both fell asleep watching OITNB. I was on the short couch so I woke up quickly after and went to my bed. When I laid down in bed, I felt overwhelmingly happy.

How did I get so lucky? I know a lot of girls who don’t have a close relationship like this in their life. I joke around and say that Hay is my second boyfriend but… it’t not a joke. She really is. I ask her opinion on most things going on in my life, and I always will.

I am even more lucky that Haleigh isn’t my only best friend. I have multiple true friendships that I cherish now more than ever.

Put the effort in to keep these type of friends. They are worth it!

“Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it.” 

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New Year’s Resolutions You’ll Want To Stick To

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The dreaded New Year’s Resolution time has come again. You could always pick the basics: eat healthy, get a gym membership, budget your money better.

But who is really going to stick to those? NOT ME. If you really want to improve yourself start small. You aren’t going to want to get out of bed at 5 a.m. January 15th and hit the treadmill any more than you do right now.

So, here are some suggestions on how to start small, and then reach for a bigger goal once you have succeeded.

1. Limit yourself to 30 minutes of social media a day.

This one may come easy to some of you, but I find myself checking my personal social media way too often. Pick a certain time of the day (morning, lunch, evening), set a timer, check your Facebook, post something you’ve been wanting to share– but then get back to your REAL life.

2. Don’t bring your phone to bed.

So…you lay down at 10 p.m. and get suckered into watching a cute video of a puppy….. somehow it magically turned to midnight?

Sleep is important!

3. Keep a food journal.

Even if you don’t keep exact track of it, it does make you aware of how much you subconsciously eat throughout the day. (Good one for people who want to lose weight!)

4. Drink more water

These water bottles are an AWESOME way to stick to that resolution!!! Get one here.

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5. Drink less alcohol

Replace with water ^^^ 😉

6. Start replacing some of your usual groceries with the organic version.

Yes, they are more expensive– So are medical bills due to health complications.

7. Add 15 more minutes to your cardio. Or try something new!

Do what you usually do, just go for longer! Instead of walking or running on the treadmill for 30 minutes, go for 45. Usually go to Yoga? Try boot camp or Zumba!

Any changes you make (even small) and stick with are a success.

Here is to a wonderful 2016!!!!

 

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Troubles will come & they will pass.

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Do you ever have one of those days where you just CAN’T get happy? I mean, It’s not like my life is awful. I have SO much to smile and be happy about. But even so, sometimes it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Between working full time, going to graduate school full time, homework, and a photography business it’s hard to keep my sanity.

(I don’t know how people go back to school when they have kids, seriously!— Whole new level of respect for them!)

I want things in my life to fall in place and they just aren’t. No matter what path I choose, something goes wrong. It makes me feel like it’s my fault. Like there’s something wrong with me.

I tend to overthink mostly everything. (I need to work very hard on changing  that about myself.) But when I step back and look at the BIG picture of life, how lucky I am to even be living, how lucky I am to have a laptop and a cell phone to use whenever I please, how lucky I am to have an entire family that loves me– I remember a line from one of my favorite songs ever, Simple Man.

“Troubles will come, and they will pass…”

Although life isn’t exactly comfortable or easy for me right NOW doesn’t mean that it won’t be next week, or next month, or even next year.

I just need to be patient and remember I get the privilege of waking up every morning to work towards a future goal.

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3 ways to keep bleached hair healthy

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Balayage and Ombre are so big right now it’s hard to not want to be part of the trend.

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But, as we all know bleaching hair can really damage it. I’ve learned from experience. Chopping all your hair off is usually the result. (Why my hair is so short in both pictures!)

Now, I’m on the road to recovery. I  LOVE my ombre because there is NO upkeep. I can let my natural color grow for as long as I want and save so much money from going to the salon less.

It’s just the ends I have to worry about. Here are some ways to take care of your hair to keep it healthier and longer.

  1. Make sure you are washing it correctly. 

Don’t wash it everyday! Seriously, dry shampoo works wonders. When you do wash it, put conditioner on just the ends of your hair before you shampoo it. Try to keep shampoo only towards your scalp & try to keep condition just towards the ends.

2. Use Anti-Snap

I can’t use any oils or serums on my hair because it will make it too oily. But I can’t use nothing because my hair is too dry on the ends. Extreme_AntiSnap_150x250

I use Redken extreme anti-snap and LOVE it. Anti-Snap has made it harder for my hair to break off, which has made it grow more.

3. Weekly hair treatments

Coconut oil is my #1. On nights that my hair is dirty and I know I will wash it the next morning, I COVER my hair in coconut oil & sleep in it.

You can also buy weekly hair treatments at Wal-Mart or Ulta, I just think coconut oil is easiest because I use it for other things as well.

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Things Could Always Be Worse

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This morning I woke up at 5:45 to go workout like always. Chugged some pre-workout, slipped my shoes on and tied my ratty hair up into a bun. My brother-in-law was in the kitchen waiting on me so I yelled “I’ll drive to the gym!”

Little did I know 8 minutes later I’d be getting pulled over for ignoring a “Road Closed” sign that I literally have gone around everyday the last month. (not exaggerating.) One $139 ticket later, I was pissed. Why did I say I’d drive? Why couldn’t that cop just have told me not to do it again?

Needless to say my workout was horrible. When we got home I knew my day was going to be that much worse if I didn’t get a good sweat in so I decided to go run. (Exercise is seriously the BEST stress reliever, next to eating a huge cheeseburger)

As I was running by an Arby’s restaurant (wishing I was inside eating a huge #2 with curly fries) I thought to myself “thank god I don’t have to work at a fast food restaurant.” I’ve had my fair share of bad jobs, and that is one that I would never want to have to do.

My point here is things could always be worse.

The rest of my run I focused on all the positives I have in my life. Focusing on the good made a $139 seem so pointless in the scheme of life.

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Firefly Lane

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I am not much of a reader, but at night when I am having trouble falling asleep I can read a few chapters in a book and sleep like a baby. (Seriously, it works every time)

I started a book called “Firefly Lane”  by Kristin Hannah a few weeks ago and I REALLY like it. It takes a lot to keep me interested, especially when it’s something like reading. But this book has kept my interest and actually WANTING to read it!

The story is based around a family that has lost their mother and how they are dealing with the struggles that losing her has brought.

I would recommend this book to young and old (my mom is actually the one who gave it to me!)

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The “Facebook” effect

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So you think that girl/guy you’re so jealous of and stalk on social media has the perfect life right? They seem happy 24/7. They are beautiful, smart, funny. Everything YOU want to be. And to top is off, their boyfriends/girlfriends seem even more perfect.

I catch myself doing this a lot. Looking at other people’s lives and finding myself disappointed with my own. Yesterday I was looking at a fellow bloggers Instagram upload where her boyfriend had gotten her Gerber Daisies (my favorite flower) “just because.” At first I was all like “What the hell Austin, you suck!”

Then I realized him not getting me flowers for no reason doesn’t mean he’s a bad boyfriend to me. There are plenty of other things that he does for me that make me happy. People (including myself) mostly share the good things and rarely share the bad.

The point is, don’t be so quick to get unhappy with your own life. Think of all the shitty things that happen to us in REALITY. Do we share those things? No. Neither do those that you are jealous of.

I’m mad at myself for even comparing my life to others’s based off of social media. Sure, some of the stuff shared on social media is genuine, but ask yourself, if someone is THAT happy with their life, why do they have to share it and let everyone else know just how happy they are? I’d say at least 50% of peoples posts are pretty sugar coated.

We share our “Ideal” selves on social media, not our REAL selves.

We ALL have something beautiful to bring to the table. It may not seem like you have the perfect life, but no one does. Just remember that.

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April Fools!

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In the spirit of April Fools day, which is also my best friends birthday (HAPPY 22nd Haleigh!), I am going to tell you about the best April Fools joke I ever played. It was my junior year of high school and my mom still woke me up for school every morning. I had a habit of falling asleep on the couch, which really ticked my mom off, so I knew it needed to be incorporated into the plan.

I laid out two pillows from my bedroom and covered them up with my comforter. (I froze that night but it was TOTALLY worth it.) Then, I laid out my hair extensions in the perfect way to make it look like it was me that was laying out on the couch.

I wrote a note (which I have no idea how she didn’t see it first) that said “April Fools Day Mom!!” LOLLLL. When ACTUALLY she woke me up (in my bed) that morning, I asked her if she thought it was me. Her reply was awesome and exactly the reaction I was after. “I thought that you were dead when I felt a soft pillow which I expected to be you, and I jumped back for a second! Then I saw the note and laughed to myself.”

Of course I start cracking up. She then said that she not only did it once but when she walked through the living room after fixing her hair she tried waking the fake Taylor up AGAIN! HAHA. I was so pleased with myself.

This plan went much better than the year I told my sister that our dog died…

Whats the best April Fools Joke You’ve ever played on someone?! (leave a comment below! Seriously, I love April Fools so much.)

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Think positive everyday.

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Sometimes I forget to stop and think about how lucky I am to have the things that I do. When I look around and see so many things that I don’t have yet, so many things that I want, I get jealous and begin to think so negatively about myself. “I’m not good enough.” ; “She’s so much prettier than me.”; “I am not happy”…the list goes on.

Last night I was having a lot of those thoughts and couldn’t sleep. I texted my friend Alyssa and within 5 minutes she was calling me. (Something to be so thankful for.)

After talking to her I realized (and this is not the first time I have realized this) that it’s all about my perspective.  I woke up this morning and told myself that I was going to try my best and have a good productive day, no matter what. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but today it did.

My mom always tells me “Happiness is a choice, not a destination.” None of the things (relationships, clothing, cars, etc.) are going to make a difference in how happy a person is, maybe for a little while, but eventually the feelings keep coming back. I’ve learned that I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with anything else.

Don’t think negative and you won’t have a negative day.  It’s that simple.

I have a list on my phone of things that make me happy. When I get in moods like I have been this past week, I read over it and then add one thing to the bottom of the list. Reading these brings me back to reality and helps me think positively. It also helps me see how many great things I really do have.

Choose happiness today!

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