My Thoughts

Why I got over being embarrassed

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Okay, so, talk about the most awkward life ever. = ME!!! Seriously. Last weekend I was at the bar and walked out of the bathroom to meet my new (which makes this even worse) boyfriend –who was waiting outside for me– with a 2 foot long, maybe longer, piece of toilet paper stuck the the heel of my boot. I literally HAD NO f****** clue it was there until he told me to look down………….

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Cool. Really cool. This isn’t the first embarrassing thing I’ve done in front of Austin either: 1. 1st time I ever met him- Got hit in the forehead with a frisbee that he and his friends were playing with, it left a bruise. 2. Tried to send a HIDEOUS, and I mean hideous as in I looked like Sloth off of “The Goonies” snap to my friend Haleigh- put it on “my story” instead and he’s the only one who actually opened it (thank god no one else had to witness it). He then proceeded to text me saying “haha nice story”……… 3. Was at his grandparents house for only the second time, and broke their standing lamp in the basement. (How? I don’t even know.)

The list goes on and on, but you get the point. I have seriously done countless embarrassing things in front of my friends, family, and larrrrrrge amount of boys. But there has been one good lesson that came from these “omg I want to die” moments.

WHO CARES?!

Everyone does embarrassing things. Quit fretting over something that people are most likely not going to remember a day, a week, or a year down the road. It’s funny. Life would be so boring if people didn’t do embarrassing things. And that’s usually the takeaway– humor. I try not to worry about what other people think of me, and that has helped me be a much happier person. And if i’m going to do embarrassing things –which I am– I might as well be a happy person while I do them. 🙂

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Remembering time spent at grandma’s

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My grandpa and grandma Osborn lived on an old dirt road in Gridley, KS- where the population is around 400 people. My family and I lived two hours away where I grew up, so visiting on the holiday’s and for a week in the summer with my sister- was always an adventure. We got to do lots of things while we were there that we never dreamed of doing at home: feeding cattle with grandpa, going fishing, riding horses, and making mud pies in the back yard were a few of my favorites.

There is something about a grandma’s cooking that literally cannot beat anyone else’s in the world, something about playing board games with her at the holidays surrounded by your family, and something about snuggling with her in a recliner chair when you’re little– that make you feel more loved than anything in the world.

Those “somethings” are what I will always remember about my grandma. And they’re things I don’t want to forget, so that one day when I am at that point in my life, I can make my grandchildren feel the same way as she made me feel.

Rest in peace to a very beautiful angel that god gained yesterday, January 26, 2015.

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Living With Change

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Change… one small word that has so many different meanings to people. Think of what “change” is to you? Exciting, necessary, downright scary? See what I mean. There’s no real clear way to define the powerful word. There is one thing about change I know effects life in the most drastic way. Your attitude towards it.

I grew up in a small town in Kansas where the population was around 10,000. Besides the occasional “small town drama” everything was comfortable, predictable, and frankly, pretty easy. When it came time to choose a college, I chose to stay in my hometown and go to the local community college for a couple of years. It seemed like the right thing to do: cheaper, more scholarships, etc. Looking back now, I didn’t move away for college because I was scared of change. Even when I graduated from LCC and moved on to a University I chose one that was only 30 minutes away and where my boyfriend (at the time) was also attending.

2014 brought many changes for me: breaking up with my boyfriend of three years, actually having a “college experience”, meeting a new amazing guy, finding a job, graduating college, and moving away. Fast forward to 2015. I started my job in Kansas City, two hours away from my hometown January 5th and also moved into a three bedroom house with two random roommates. (I like to think of myself as Jess Day.)  I always thought I was the fun, spontaneous type that would LOVE change and just roll with whatever punches got thrown my way, but this wasn’t the case at all. I didn’t want to say goodbye to my best friends who I had shared millions of memories with over the past years. I didn’t want to end the new relationship I had just started a month earlier. I didn’t want to live with two people whom I knew nothing about. All of these perspectives started to give me a negative outlook on the truly awesome opportunity that was before me. That’s the thing about change. If you have a pessimistic attitude towards it, I can guarantee you are going to hate it. I did. But when I decided to look at the positives: that I was lucky enough to have a job opportunity, have someone who wanted to be with me even through the distance, and live somewhere new and exciting to explore my entire mindset about change, changed.

If you are going through any changes, good or bad, in your life: a hard break-up, new job, moving to a new city… I  know that it can be hard to recognize the positives, but if you wake up every single morning and count your blessings it will help you get through the change at hand.

As for dealing with my change, I still have a long way to go. I also realize that there are going to be so many more changes in my life– and there will be in yours too– so get ready for it!

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